


Colliding Storms

by ellaxcx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Codependency, M/M, a relationship through the years, dont know if that came through or not, except not really, its not bad at all, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:24:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9882083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaxcx/pseuds/ellaxcx
Summary: Anakin loves Obi-Wan, loves him more than he loves himself.





	

**i.**

They’re sitting on the roof of his house, the late summer’s night is thick. He watches as the wind sweeps the willow tree, and blows into the auburn gold beside him. 

Anakin’s pretty sure this is his favorite place on the planet. 

“The stars are magnificent tonight.” Obi-Wan gushes, leaning back on his hands, face titled toward the sky. A soft smile makes the ends of his mouth quirk up, as he turns to him. His eyes are a shade of caring he’s never seen, when he speaks Anakin’s breath catches, “Your eyes remind me of them.” 

Temporarily short circuited, it takes him a moment to calm his heartbeat enough to answer. He digs his fingers into his palm, and shoots his best friend a look he desperately hopes is skeptical, neutral at the least. 

“They’re not even the same type of blue.” Thank force, _thank force_ , his voice didn’t crack. 

He snorts, gently shoving Anakin’s shoulder with a careful smile, “That’s not the point, you simpleton. I mean the specks in your eyes twinkle like stars.” It’s probably the most candid the older boy’s ever been, ever will be. 

A multitude of replies skirt around his brain--seemingly all at lighting speed. He’s sweating and everything feels off balance. He wonders why those few words effected him so much. Surely Obi-Wan hadn’t thought much of the words, he never does. 

When nothing of merit, nothing that can mean as much comes to mind, he closes his eyes and inhales the late summer’s air. His green eyed companion doesn’t seem to mind, as he mimics him. 

**ii.**

He calls a little after midnight. Anakin is leaning against the counter, willing the microwave to go faster. When he sees it’s Obi-Wan he debates answering it. Tonight he’s exhausted, and not up for reading into every little thing Obi-Wan says, but does it regardless. 

“Past your curfew.” He says, scratching at the scruff developing on his chin. 

“ _He_ \- I really. Please Anakin.” His voice is uneven, so completely devoid of that signature welcoming and warm cultured tone. He’s pleading, and immediately Anakin is racing to grab his shoes. 

“Are you at home?” He asks, closing the door, and not bothering to lock it. He tries to calm himself enough to be able to ride his bike without falling over or running into a trashcan. 

“I’m- I’m in my room. Come in through the window.” 

Something has to really be wrong, there must be a murderer or, or. No. Please, please please no. “Obi-Wan do I need to call the police?” 

“N-no! You can’t. I just need to...see you. I’m so sorry.” He’s rambling after that, that most Anakin catches are strings and strings of apologies, and it makes his stomach twist. He wants to scream that Obi-Wan has nothing to be sorry for, tell him to shut the fuck up. Anything, _anything_ to stop the crying. 

Anakin lets him keep going until he gets to his window, and thankfully it’s unlocked. Before he notices there's another presence, he’s sitting against his closet door. Head tucked into his knees, hands shaking around his phone. And when he looks up, Anakin see it. 

Red and angry, loud. It reaches out and screams at him. A hand sized bruise across his pale cheek. For a second, Anakin doesn’t know if he can move. He doesn’t know if somebody is sucking the air out of the room or choking him to death. He can’t- 

“Obi-Wan.” He breathes, falling to his knees directly in front of his beloved. He can’t remember the last time he was this uncontrollably angry. 

Carefully, Anakin leans his head against Obi-Wan’s, reaching up to gently cup his cheek. He watches with tear filled, gray eyes, breathing harsh but doesn’t pull away. 

“What happened?” He asks softly, soothingly, even though he’s shaking with anger on the inside. 

He doesn’t answer for awhile. His eyes glaze over with tears, teeth digging into his lip. Confusion colors his face, until their eyes meet. He breaks down completely and latches onto Anakin’s wrist, crying silent tears. His chest is moving wildly, eyelashes fluttering every once in awhile. 

Anakin says nothing. 

“He’s...never hit me before.” A broken, quiet sentence, that sends Anakin whirling. 

“We have to call the police.” It’s said surprisingly evenly. Extremely proud of himself for holding back on the emotions surging within. 

“N-no. Where would I go? What would I do? I- I could never see you again. Please. He won’t do it again, I promise, I _swear_ -” 

For the first time in a long while, Anakin is reminded that there are no perfect creatures. That his best friend is as much of a storm as he is. 

He holds Obi-Wan’s neck, and brings their foreheads together, “Okay. _Okay_.” 

**iii.**

He groans as Obi-Wan moves his knee in between his legs. His hands grip the red head’s hips harder, head thrown back against his pillows. He tries not to get caught up again, tries so fucking hard not to be swallowed fully and completely. But it’s impossible, enviable. Always has been. 

Before Obi-Wan can connect their lips again, he pulls away, taking deep, heavy breaths. As he closes his eyes, he sees the confusion in those wonderful stormy blue-gray-green ones. He asks himself why that makes it harder. 

“What’s wrong?” His voice is as calm as it’s always been- except slightly breathless. Anakin so badly wants to peak at his flushed cheeks and blown out eyes, but knows how easily he’ll give in. 

For some reason, the innocent question strikes a cord somewhere deep inside of the boy. His heartbeat stutters, and breath catches. (force no pleasepleaseplease _no_ ) As he can’t catch his breath, he throws an arm on his eyes. Hoping Obi-Wan somehow won’t notice how his chest is skipping. 

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan says, alarmed, strong hands laying on his chest. 

He doesn’t even know why he’s crying--except that he does, he _does_ \--but when those calloused fingers touch him, he’s crying harder. No longer subtle, instead obvious and booming. 

Obi-Wan stiffens, so caught off guard by the distinct show of emotion, it would be laughable otherwise. He takes a deep breath and lays entirely on top of Anakin, and hooks both arms around his neck. “Tell me what’s going on.” 

“Force, would you get off of me.” Anakin shuffles, words dampened by the heavy tears. But successfully extracts his best friend from hip lap. He stands, unsteadily, rubbing at his eyes and trying to stop fucking crying already. How _pathetic_.  

“Anakin, honestly what in the world is happening?” His voice is getting more and more frustrated by the second, and while it’s totally fair, he gets irrationally angry. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” His words are quick and concise, slicing cleanly. 

“ _What_ ,” he’s up now too, forcing the blond to face him, “What do you mean? Anakin you can’t-” 

“I mean I don’t want to do this anymore, Obi-Wan!” He’s almost back. Almost protected and shielded Anakin. If only his voice hand’t wobbled at the end, it would’ve been perfect. 

He wishes however, that he hadn’t been looking into those eyes when he said it. He sees them visibly break, and feels the need to take back the last few minutes. 

“Why? Why? We agreed this is what we wanted-” 

“I can’t do it anymore, Obi-Wan. Not like this.” 

“Why? Why! Why Anakin?” 

“ **I LOVE YOU**!” Anakin screams, ignoring the urge to puke. Forgetting they agreed this wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Obi-Wan is so still--the stillest he’s ever seen him--and everything is so quiet. Anakin is about to turn and run, get as far away from here, from Obi-Wan, as possible. But then solid arms slide against his shoulders, face pressed deep into his neck. 

His lips brush against Anakin’s vein, eyelashes fluttering against his skin. “I am so sorry. I had no clue.” Obi-Wan grabs his face, and kisses every part of him. His cheeks, his forehead, his eyes, and finally lips. 

It’s wrong, it’s not supposed to be like this. Because it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t feel the same. He struggles, fights against the warm embrace. But Obi-Wan has always been unrelenting when he wants. His fingers dig into blond hair, “I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t say it. I’m so sorry.” 

Anakin knows that, is the thing. Obi-Wan would never intentionally hurt him. But force he loves this auburn haired, feeling impaired idiot more than life itself. He can’t go on pretending he doesn’t. 

So, he still has to run, has to leave, has to go and never look back, until he notices the shaking. Then there’s the tears on his neck, and the quiet whimpers. 

He hesitates for a moment, but wraps his arms tightly around Obi-Wan waist, holding on just as tightly as he is. 

 **iv.**  

Anakin is never sure of his sanity when he’s around Obi-Wan. He asks his mom if it’s normal to love somebody this much. The answer is gets every time, is, “it isn’t love if it doesn’t hurt”. And he’s always left confused. 

Except then he thinks about people. He thinks about how his Mother checked out all those years ago. The day they left. How he’s never seen the jolly, joking woman he vaguely recalls. 

He thinks about Obi-Wan and how he’s devoted to his step-father. His excuses and apologies. He thinks about all the times he saw the older’s heart visibly break when the man insulted him. He thinks about how he wraps himself inside Anakin completely, places every ounce of trust he has into the blond. 

He think about himself. How he raises Obi-Wan above every other person in his life. How he’d drop school and run away with him if he asked. Jump in front of a bullet if he said it would make him smile. He thinks about how his happiness depends on the other’s. 

He thinks about all the people he’s observed. All the songs he’s heard. How fickle and broken people are. How badly they need somebody else to patch them back together. 

He thinks love is irrational and detrimental. 

But then Obi-Wan comes over, blesses his day with a secret smile and everything clicks back into place. 

**v.**

It’s just the two of them, laying opposite of each other on Anakin’s kitchen floor. Faces side by side, but never turning far enough to touch. They’ve had a fair amount to drink, and figured the floor was safer than trying to trek it to his bed. 

Anakin had been riding the high of making Obi-Wan laugh all night. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, or even if it makes sense, but the red head’s giggles echo throughout his relatively empty apartment. 

Everything stops dead though, when Obi-Wan says, “I wish I could leave my life.” 

Anakin thinks someone just reached inside his chest and squeezed until he popped, but then that would probably be less painful. 

“I think it would be better. I would be able to breathe, experience things I couldn’t here.” He says softly. 

Blue eyes focus on the ceiling, an unending sea of off white. He settles on the cheap ass chandelier. He thinks about his step family. Apologetic, empty eyes and the long expanse of their backs. “Sometimes I want to stop breathing. But we have to do things we don’t want to.” He fills his lungs, and searches his brain for a feeling outside of desperation (He can’t find one). 

“Anakin I-” He turns to look in his wide gray eyes. They’re full of shock and something he can’t read. It’s the first time he remembers not being able to know every part of Obi-Wan. 

He gasps and shoots up. “I uh, I think I might sleep on the sofa after all.” He watches as his best friend scurries off and is filled with a different kind of hurt. It feels a lot like rejection. 

**vi.**

“I- I do, too. I truly, truly do.” He whispers into the younger’s wrist kissing it softly. Anakin nods and rearranges their bodies to mold. He presses a quiet kiss on the red head’s lips. He digs his fingers in Anakin’s shirt as he listens to Obi-Wan’s scared breath. 

“I don’t know why I can’t say it. Give me some time, _please_.” 

Anakin wonders if he ever had an option. If he could deny the request, leave and make himself whole. He wonders if Obi-Wan can ever fill every part of him, but honestly knows the answer. 

He knows he was a goner from the beginning. And asking somebody to do the impossible isn’t fair. 

But for now, he’ll take shelter from the raging winds inside of Obi-Wan, and pray that their tornadoes aren’t on the same course. 

“You don’t have to, I already know.” 

“I’m terrified. Terrified I’ll drown in you, so much that it consumes me. But I can’t stop loving you, no matter how hard I try.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first Star Wars thing, and I was too intimidated to do anything other than a modern au. So I hope you like it.  
> Side note, Obi seems kinda ooc to me, but I rationalized that he was either emotionally devastated or drunk when he opened up sooo. Besides, I think he'd open up easier to Anakin anyway. (Also if there's mistakes i'm really sorry. No beta!)  
> Enough of my rambling, thanks for reading!


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